Message My Themes Groovy Tunes

*turns 21*

*uses new powers to buy rum for the sole purpose of making tiramisu*

4 notes10.2112:24 PM

I think I’ve been sick on my birthday for at least 20 of the 21 years I’ve been alive.

2 notes10.219:50 AM

remember a year ago I was pursuing my now-boyfriend in what a friend of mine dubbed “manquest”

weird

5 notes10.199:21 PM

Favorite musical groups:

  • Cake
  • Weezer
  • N.E.R.D.
  • Muse
  • The Pussycat Dolls
1 note10.173:23 PM

Maybe I’ll buy myself a crock pot for my birthday.

#oldladygabi

2 notes10.169:20 PM

Man, I have nothing but issues with my phone. Yesterday I dropped it as I was walking up the staircase in my boyfriend’s dorm. This staircase is the kind of staircase that winds around with an opening in the center that allows you to see all the way down to the bottom floor. 

I was on about the third floor. When the phone first hit the ground, it split into two - the cover and the phone itself. I watched as one of the parts crashed against every floor until it hit the bottom. 

I was convinced that my phone was the part that was probably lying in pieces on the bottom floor of the staircase. I stood staring over the railing, frozen and frantically trying to figure out how I was going to get home without the app that conveniently tells me where all the buses are.

I finally snapped out of it when I heard my boyfriend say “wow that could have been really bad.” I was confused. It was really bad. My phone was broken and my first paycheck since last school year would have to go towards replacing it because it’s 2014 and a young lady like myself can’t survive in this city without a smartphone. 

But it wasn’t. My phone was safe and sound on the step above mine, and my cover was at the bottom of the staircase, still in one piece. 

2 notes10.159:02 PM
I left my phone in the bathroom at work and the girl who found it texted my boyfriend about it.

"Of course that’s where she left it."

I can’t help that I have a small bladder.

I left my phone in the bathroom at work and the girl who found it texted my boyfriend about it.

"Of course that’s where she left it."

I can’t help that I have a small bladder.

5 notes10.155:30 PM

momgenes:

A woman pours so much hand sanitizer on her hands that it runs off and spills all over the floor. It is pooling at her feet. She continues pouring it. A security guard comes over. Ma’am, you’re causing a disturbance. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. The security guard slips, falls. The security guard is covered in hand sanitizer. The security guard is so clean. The woman is so clean. The woman’s hands are so clean.

157,509 notes10.147:10 PM

sorry I’ve been gone last week was p bad and I’m still recovering

but I really don’t have any work due until next monday now?

and I turn 21 in exactly a week?

that’s cool I guess

4 notes10.147:06 PM

Why do work when you could eat two cupcakes?

1 note10.124:29 PM

benfoldsone:

are you today’s date?

because you’re 10/11

there’s room for improvement

25 notes10.117:32 AM • Source: benfoldsone
45,210 notes10.107:32 PM • Source: shea-crossing

It’s only 11:30 in the morning but today needs to be over, like, immediately if possible.

2 notes10.1011:17 AM

Maybe if I just keep thinking about everything that stresses me out I’ll tire myself out and fall asleep and magically feel better in the morning?

It’s worth a shot.

10.810:11 PM

Something will go right soon!

At least it better!!

My optimism is running low!!!

2 notes10.87:10 PM